Give and receive – a natural cycle

Posted on Dec 6, 2011 in Spiritual living

The Law of Giving by Belinda Paton

The Law of Giving by Belinda Paton

I’d already had the idea of writing about giving as it seems very appropriate for the time of year and then to confirm this was right, as often happens with me, I was told of an interesting comment someone had made: “I’m not giving any money away for nothing as it only leads to resentment.” What makes someone feel this way? It’s an interesting viewpoint and it’s obviously the result of real life experiences. But it made me wonder how this same person would respond to a gift of money, because it’s true that the best givers are also those who are best at receiving. And by “givers” I mean those who give with no expectations or conditions, because it sounds as if our disgruntled representative had only experienced the “strings attached” type of giving.

Personally, and as an independent, overactive Aries, I used to find it very hard to accept the gift of help from anyone, even when I really needed it. I would take on impossibly demanding tasks but if someone offered to help then, before I could even think, my mouth would automatically say “I’m fine thanks” or “I can manage”. Then as they walked away I would be squeaking to myself, “What did I say that for? There’s so much to do…..”

What was that about?! Well it was probably about lots of things: a dose of pride “Look how much I can do all on my own!”; a need to prove my own ability; an over-developed sense of duty and responsibility; a desire to please others; a drive to maintain autonomy…….

What finally persuaded me to change though, was the realisation that I was depriving a willing person of the joy of helping me and of showing their love and respect for me in this practical way. There’s a bit of reverse psychology for a pathological people pleaser! I also discovered that more often than not it was much more fun completing the task with some company and support. So I had also been voluntarily depriving myself of joy and pleasure, and that definitely pointed to an underlying self-esteem issue.

Strangely (or not really, considering the perfect balance of universal laws), the more I allowed myself to receive from people – help, compliments, gifts, prayers – then the more able I was to give freely and unconditionally to others. It was as if I needed to understand both sides of the equation for the energy to flow freely, and so the more I could receive the more I could give, and the more I gave the more I received. Simple and wonderful!

So it’s worth asking, as you choose and wrap your presents for others and prepare wonderful feasts for your firends and families, are you a good receiver?  If someone offers to pay for lunch, do you feel the need to reciprocate with “I’ll pay next time,” (rather than simply thanking them graciously)? If someone gives you a gift do you respond with, “You really shouldn’t have,” (rather than just being grateful for their generosity).  If someone compliments you do you immediately try to belittle your accomplishment with “it’s nothing,” or do you find it impossible to accept the praise with a “thank you,”?

If you said yes to any of these questions then I suggest you practise consciously the art of receiving over the coming festive period which will, of course, also allow you to do plenty of giving – but with a fuller and happier heart. May you give and receive in equal and overflowing measure!

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Semele Xerri

© Semele Xerri is a psychic intuitive healer, animal communicator, and Reiki Master Teacher. To find out more about her and her services, go to her Work with me page.

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