The change challenge

Posted on Jul 25, 2008 in Spiritual living

Having written recently about feeling like I was in a period of waiting, I now find myself in a time of intense change – that’ll teach me! This time round, it’s a new relationship which has come as an unexpected but extremely welcome blessing.

As we’re adjusting to each other, we’re inevitably coming across areas where he (I’ve promised not to name him!) has challenged or questioned me on the way I do things. It’s amazing how a fresh pair of eyes can make you see things in a completely new light, and also bring home to you how much unnecessary hassle you’ve been putting up with. This got me thinking how easy it is to quietly adapt to our current circumstances, to grow comfortable and set in our ways, even if those ways aren’t particularly helpful to us!

I’m someone who has always put spiritual growth and development at the top of my list and this has meant that I’ve never been afraid of change – I’ve relished it, in fact, because for me life is a journey and there’s no point in standing still. But there is still an inherent resistance in me, and I’ve been quite fascinated by my touchy and defensive reaction to some of my partner’s comments. Change is not cosy, change takes you way out of your comfort zone but I have learned to welcome that first pang of unease and insecurity because it tells me that I’m about to move past another barrier. As Kalil Gilbran said, “The pain you feel is the breaking of the shell that encloses you.”

This is so important, because it is often at that precise moment of challenge that we stop and pull back from change. We tell ourselves it hurts too much, we can’t possibly find the strength to do it, it’s so much easier to settle for where we are because however imperfect that is, it’s what we know, it’s safe, it’s comfortable. Something in us wants to retain control.

In the Tarot, the card for major change and transformation is Death, and it talks about letting go of anything that no longer works for you. This is the most powerful lesson when faced with change of any kind – the key to allowing change is just that; allowing it. This means you have to relax your hold on whatever it is you’re facing, let go of your preconceptions and expectations of what might happen, dismiss your limiting beliefs of your own capabilities. When you do that, when you accept change rather than fight it, it’s incredible how effortlessly you can adapt to and flow with new circumstances, behaviours and ways of being.

So, while apologising in advance to my wonderful man for the short-term resistance he will face when suggesting further changes, I also say “keep ’em coming!” Because when I’m changing I’m growing, and that means I’m really living. So, as painful as it may sometimes be, I choose change and I choose life. Do you?

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Semele Xerri

© Semele Xerri is a psychic intuitive healer, animal communicator, and Reiki Master Teacher. To find out more about her and her services, go to her Work with me page.

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